


first name santa, last name claus, middle name kokichi

by gamesetmatch



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Alternate Universe - Non-Despair (Dangan Ronpa), Christmas Fluff, Crack, Gen, M/M, POV Oma Kokichi, Unreliable Narrator
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-29
Updated: 2020-12-29
Packaged: 2021-03-10 21:13:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,112
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28403805
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gamesetmatch/pseuds/gamesetmatch
Summary: When a very merry phantom thief breaks into the wrong protagonist’s house and gets adopted by weird people instead.
Relationships: Hinata Hajime & Oma Kokichi, Hinata Hajime/Komaeda Nagito, Komaeda Nagito & Oma Kokichi
Comments: 4
Kudos: 113





	first name santa, last name claus, middle name kokichi

A super ultra mysterious phantom thief allowed himself to quietly snicker as he peered into the sooty chimney of a boring-looking house. He listened intently for the soft thud, barely discernible as he dropped his bag into the passage. With a tug to ensure his Santa’s hat wouldn’t slip off his unruly hair, he hopped inside following it.

He wondered if he’d get lucky enough to hit the jackpot on his first try. At the same time, he hoped he could have a little more fun before that. Landing on the bag he’d prepared full of cotton fluff, he tried adjusting to the darkness around him, making out faint outlines of furniture just beyond the fireplace door. 

Sooo, was this the house of the cute detective who was on his case? There was only one way to find out. He’d seen him in the area, and after some due research, he’d narrowed it down to this particular block. Well, it was a quiet and clean neighbourhood with seemingly little holiday spirit, but there should still be interesting things to find inside! And he would be generous enough to leave behind a present in all the houses he visited on this street. After all, he was coming as Santa Kokichi tonight.

With such a busy schedule ahead of him, Kokichi wasted no time in pushing the fireplace door and slipped into the darkened living room.

It _was_ a darkened living room, anyway, until a lamp near him suddenly flickered on.

Kokichi, a phantom thief with loads of experience under his belt next to where all of his lockpicking tools were kept, was not surprised by this turn of events. Painting a serene mask on his face, he turned in the direction of the lamp.

An unfamiliar man sat before him on the sofa, his pale green eyes in a state of shock. His mouth gaped as he met Kokichi’s gaze and softly uttered, as if the name was incredibly precious, “..Santa?”

Kokichi’s eyes narrowed a fraction before he blew them wide, a complementing grin stretching his face. He lifted a finger above his mouth and declared, “Yep, that’s right, I’m Santa! Nishi—Hohoho!”

He caught his signature laugh before it could spill from his lips. Hohoho, that was the spirit. The other man was definitely staying up waiting for Santa, so Kokichi couldn’t just shatter all of his dreams, right?

True to his expectations, the man suddenly stood up with a gasp.

“I knew staying up to wait for Santa would be worth it! This is truly the best reward for all of my hope!”

The man gripped his arms and shuddered in palpable delight. Then he turned to the doorway and shouted.

“Hey, Hajime!”

“What is it?” A voice grouchy from sleep (or maybe that was his normal tone? Kokichi could see that being the case too) sounded from a room deeper in the house. 

Another man emerged from the hallway. The glow of the lamp fell on his brown hair and striking ahoge that seemed sharper and more forceful than any he’d ever seen. Hm, definitely not Shuichi’s home, then. The home wasn’t big enough for two protagonists, surely.

Still, Kokichi wasn’t _too_ disappointed with the company he found in this house. Nah, this might turn out to be even more interesting.

“Look, what did I tell you? Santa’s here! And _you_ said he wouldn’t give me a gift if I waited in front of the fireplace.”

The man who had been called Hajime groaned loudly. “Nagito, please tell me you didn’t pay someone to come here just to prove your point.”

Kokichi’s eyes sparkled. Could it be? A real life grinch? Wow, as Santa Kokichi, he couldn’t let this fly!

As Kokichi was attaching names to the two individuals in the room, Nagito was fiercely defending his honour against the grinch he had called Hajime. “How could you say that to Santa’s face when he came all this way from the North Pole to visit us!”

“Right, right! How can there be someone who doesn’t believe in Santa Claus! I see, I’d have to put you on my naughty list!”

Kokichi sighed as a regretful expression overtook his features. Nagito seemed to reflect the same emotions, shaking his head with intense regret.

“Santa, please don’t take Hajime so seriously. He’s only upset because I’m not in bed with him—ow!”

Having made his way over to where Nagito was sitting, Hajime elbowed him and stared at Kokichi, who was still standing in front of the fireplace. Kokichi recognized that look of trying to analyze the evidence that was before him like Shuichi often had, and gave him the brightest, most innocent-looking smile in return. With a bright red Santa hat and suit on, there was no way to conclude he was anything else but Santa Kokichi, of course.

Face pinched like he had a migraine or several, Hajime finally spoke. “So, Santa, are you going to get out so I can go back to bed, or do I have to call the police and charge you on account of breaking and entering.”

Kokichi was pleasantly surprised that they _weren’t_ going for the police option already. But he couldn’t leave yet! The more interesting something proved to be, the more he had to prod at it. Also, seeing as he was currently Santa, he couldn’t just let these remarks slide, right? What was that thing Kiiboy would say if he were here… something something Santaphobic. Yep, that's it~

Kokichi’s eyes shone earnestly as he whined, “But that’s what Santa does. Breaking and entering is bad, but then I leave behind the beeeest presents that make it all worth it!” 

“Like the strongest hope after the night of the darkest despair,” Nagito chimed in brightly, at the same moment Hajime said, “Oh God why did you say that in front of Nagito.”

While the two lovebirds in front of him had a moment, Kokichi took the chance to look around the room. It was a pretty cozy living space. Although you couldn’t tell from the outside with the blinds covering, there was an unplugged Christmas tree by the window that would have been decorated with a lot of effort and care. 

He found himself drawn there, to where a pile of presents were stacked next to the tree. That was where he should leave behind _his_ little gift, right? Or.. maybe he shouldn’t. In this huge assortment of colourful presents, his gift would stand out _way_ too much, after all. It was the greatest gag gift ever, so it wasn’t right to overshadow all of these other stupid, ugly gifts with his own.

Dazed in thought, he glanced up at the sound of a throat clearing.

The pale, white-haired man who had been sitting in the room from the start was smiling gently. “By the way, I haven’t introduced myself yet. I’m Nagito Komaeda. Haha, I’ve always wanted to introduce myself to Santa Claus. How fun! Hajime, you should try it too.”

“..I’m Hajime Hinata. What about you, thief?”

“No that's wrong, Santa’s not a thief. In fact, he’s the opposite of one!” Nagito declared boisterously.

Kokichi shot him a wide grin and dropped his hand-wrapped present into the pile with a flourish. Sticking his hands behind his head, he began, “Well, normally I’m not supposed to disclose this information, but… since I like you guys, I’ll tell you. I’m.. Kokichi Claus, the 53rd Santa.”

“Huh?” Nagito asked, leaning forward in surprise. “You’re saying there are multiple Santas?”

Kokichi was nodding super seriously. “Santa is actually an organization with over 10,000 members just in Japan. I mean, think about it. We can’t visit every house in the world in a single night, right? So, I’m the one in charge of this residential block. If we all work together, it’s not that much work, see?”

“I see! I always believed Santa would know the importance of teamwork and believing in your friends.”

“Yep! And now that you know our secret… I’d have to kill you.”

Kokichi eyed them with interest veiled by his sharp smile, wondering just what kind of reactions he’d get out of this odd couple at his words. 

While Hajime looked nonplussed, the other at his side was trembling like he should be. Kokichi would be too off his game if not even one of them reacted correctly! Hoho… hold up, was Nagito trembling in excitement?

“Ugh, we need to talk about your murdered-by-Santa fetish,” Hajime grumbled as Kokichi briefly blinked, mask slipping out of place.

He hesitated before slipping into an easy grin when Hajime looked rather pityingly at him and sighed, “I’m sorry, even you probably don’t deserve this. Hey, since you’re Santa, you’d better eat this so it doesn’t go to waste.”

Hajime pushed a tray with a plate heaped full of cookies and a glass of milk towards him, which Kokichi noticed had been sitting on the coffee table.

“Oh, the milk and cookies I left out for Santa! I would be honoured if you’d have some. Of course, I would understand if you don’t want to eat something that I served..”

Well, Nagito-chan may be su~per odd, but… 

“Don’t mind if I do!”

Kokichi wasn’t going to turn down free sweets. They seemed to be homemade gingerbread cookies, decorated with icing overload and a bit burnt around the edges. They were the worst cookies he’d ever eaten, and that was the only reason why he devoured them so fast.

After he washed his second cookie down with milk, he stood up and patted at the rounded padding of his suit. “Well, thanks for the refreshments! I should get going to the next house now.”

He waved cheerfully and hoisted his bag onto his shoulder, ready to scale back up the chimney when Nagito called out to him.

“Hey, if you’d like, you should come to our New Year’s Eve party next week. It must get pretty boring to only celebrate one holiday during the year. It’s also Hajime’s birthday party.”

“Eh,” Kokichi uttered. What was this supposed to mean? He’d snuck into countless places and gotten into tons of trouble whenever he was discovered, and even when he wasn’t in trouble, why were they inviting him back? Did they.. enjoy his company that much?

Oh, of course that would be the case! Catching himself, he continued in a quiet voice that carried no hint of the hesitance or disbelief that he was not feeling, “..Can I?”

He looked towards Hajime, who had seemed the most apprehensive of him, to find him nodding along in agreement. “Teruteru’s definitely going to cook too much food again, so it wouldn’t be a bad idea if you came. Though if you were, I’d prefer if you entered from the front door.”

In that case… Kokichi was planning a heist that was going to be like a big bang to start off the new year and make all the staff at the precinct work overtime on their holidays, but perhaps he could be persuaded to join another fun activity instead.

“Hm, I guess I could drop by next week. Don’t expect a big gift from me, though! Since I’m Santa, I only do those on Christmas.”

“That's fine. See you, then. It starts at six, but you can come earlier if you want. Some of us will probably be playing games already. Anyway, I’m going back to bed.”

Hajime left the room as Kokichi stepped into the fireplace. Bidding Nagito, who was still seated at the couch, a good night with a tip of his head, he started making his way up the chimney, following the light of the stars in the sky.

“ _Psst, Santa._ ”

Hearing Nagito’s voice, he glanced down the flue. At the very bottom, a tuft of white hair peeked out from the opening to accompany his mock whisper. “Just so you don’t break and enter any more homes, because you can’t go to our party if you’re in prison: Shuichi’s house is five down.”

Kokichi did not almost lose his footing. Nope, it’d take a lot more than that. He climbed out of the chimney without turning back. Still, his heart was racing as he skipped across the rooftops to the next house on his list. 

Christmas really was a time of miracles, huh? Shuichi sure had some interesting neighbours. He’d have to come by next week to figure them all out.

With a smile that would be uncharacteristically warm if anyone were watching, he leapt into the chimney he was looking for, truly looking forward to what surprises the new year would bring.

**Author's Note:**

> it’s past Christmas but I write slow so here you go at least i made it before hajime's birthday  
> also, this is the first time I'm writing for this fandom so please excuse my cracky characterization. I finished v3 recently and thought the Nagito-Kokichi duo would be fun to rain upon Hajime, and the two of them would be so good for Kokichi too??


End file.
